Old news: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 18:39, 3 January 2011

This page is where stuff on the main page's news section goes when it changes from news to olds. Observe forgotten current events and primitive human societies from the dawn of time!

Monday | December 27, 2010

Yellow Pages Replaced By "Google Pages"?
Heck, who even uses a land line anymore? And even those of us who do, the last thing we want kicking around our living spaces is that huge, ugly, unwieldy telecom-age dinosaur: the yellow pages directory. Unfortunately, countless main street businesses operating in their local communities once depended on the print ads they ran their local yellow pages directory to drive new business. Although most "mom & pop" shops hated to do it, they would often agree to pay outrageously exorbitant rates the directories charged in fear of the business they'd lose to their competitors if they refused. But the overall usefulness of yellow pages ads has steadily declined for nearly a decade, with few viable alternatives in sight.^[1]^[2] Until now?

Go to story: Ring, Ring. Hi, It's Google

Go to Google Boost: Advertise your local business with Google Boost

Sunday | December 26, 2010

What's Your Zip Code?
Sure, the post office is largely an anachronism; hardly anyone remembers how to address an envelope, much less actually mail a card or letter. But this post-Christmas, why not express your gratitude for all the gifts you received by actually mailing your thank-you cards, rather than simply blasting out a quick email, text message, Twitter or Facebook post? To see if you're ready for such a dramatic leap into the unknown, try answering this simple riddle: What is your zip code?

Go to Portland zip code map: Portland Oregon ZIP Code Map

Go to Portland neighborhood zip code chart: Portland Area Zip Code Chart by Neighborhood

Christmas Day | Saturday | December 25, 2010

Merry Post-Consumer Christmas!
Sure, spiritually bereft, mindless consumerism is a Christmas tradition as American as apple pie and preemptive air strikes. But as "Western Society" descends into post-enlightenment neofeudalism,^[3] and shakes off over-consumption in favor of finance industry-coerced "austerity" for the bottom 98%, Portland's "post-consumer advocate" has a plan. Thriftilicious! Merry Christmas Everybody!

Go to story: Merry (Thriftilicious) Christmas!

Christmas Eve! | Friday | December 24, 2010

Why Portland Rules On Eve Of Christmas Eve
Do you find your holiday bliss "hacking away" on your favorite "open source social network project"? Do you and your friends passionately toil away in frequent and unpaid "spontaneous hack sessions" and similar "Nerdouts" in the darkened confines of a former flophouse cum "Coolest Hotel In America"? Can't abide Hummers, or the idiots who drive them? Yes? Then you already understand the secret to "Why Portland Rules (if you're a nerd)."

Go to story: Why Portland Rules (if you're a nerd)

Thursday | December 23, 2010

Local Right-Wing "Think Tank" Labels Renewable Energy Efforts A "Failure"
"White paper" published by Cascade Policy Institute says Portland and Oregon "have failed miserably" in pursuing ambitious renewable energy targets. The paper's authors suggest that the city and state "should stop trying." At least one Cascade Policy Institute critic points out that the particular formulations of "individual liberty, personal responsibility, and economic opportunity" promoted by the institute are similar or identical to agendas commonly favored among large business interests and wealthy individuals. Also noted is the apparent irony of how notions like "free markets and limited government," as promoted by organizations like Cascade Policy Institute, often translate into support for "billions in pork-ridden expenditure, insurance mandates, heavy-handed central planning initiatives, property seizures..., metastatic bureaucracy at local, state and federal levels and massive expansions in law enforcement."^[4]

Go to story: Are Oregon Renewables Not Meeting Goals?

Go to Portland Afoot profile: Cascade Policy Institute

Go to critic: Cyclists vs ‘Libertarians’ in Portland

Wednesday | December 22, 2010

Are Somali Immigrants To U.S. "Different"?
"The first big wave of Somali immigrants came to the U.S. after the Mogadishu government collapsed in 1991, fleeing what became the most chaotic nation on Earth.... Somalis who settled in...the U.S. were war refugees, with little money and not many job skills.... (They're) among the "youngest and poorest" newcomers to the U.S...." Why does integration "have less to do with religion, and more to do with culture and income, than today's Islamophobes...care to admit"?

Go to story: What Makes Somalis So Different?

Go to sting posts: Portland bomb sting posts

Tuesday | December 21, 2010

Former Sellwood Funeral Parlor Is Where "Quiet Is The New Loud"
Q: Where can you sip bourbon and play bingo at the same time?
A: At former Sellwood funeral parlor, The Woods, "where quiet is the new loud."

Go to web page: The Woods, Portland

Go to bingo page: Bingo and Bourbon, with Brian Perez is on Facebook

Monday | December 20, 2010

Peace, Love, Unity, Understanding. And, uh, no more bomb plots or flaming soda bottles, please.

Peace, Love, Unity & Understanding Fills Pioneer Square
"A few hundred people" gathered at Pioneer Courthouse Square early Sunday afternoon to participate in a peace rally dubbed "A Call for Love and Understanding: Responding to Violence with Unity." The event was organized by more than two dozen faith-based organizations including the Salman Alfarisi Islamic Center in Corvallis, Oregon. Portland's Living Room was the site of an alleged bomb plot on November 26, 2010. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a 19-year-old Corvallis resident, was arrested for wanting to set off a bomb during the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony happening in the Square that evening. The Salman Alfarisi Islamic Center was the apparent target of someone who tossed a flaming plastic soda bottle full of gasoline into the mosque on Nov. 28, 2010.

Go to story: Portland rally draws support for peace

Sunday | December 19, 2010

Awesome folks hanging out at awesome Pioneer Courthouse Square awesomely.

Pioneer Square Is Like Totally Awesomely The Bomb!
Tanya I asks: "Awesome places to hang out in portland oregon?"
Matt E answers: "i like to go to pioneer square..."
Anndra agrees: "yeah pioneer square is pretty awesome..."
Sara suggests: "Go to travelportland.com/visitors You can see a whole bunch of stuff."

Go to awesome story: Awesome places to hang out in portland oregon?

Go to awesome rally: Rally against violence set for bomb plot site

Saturday | December 18, 2010

Study Highlights Importance Of International Trade In Portland's Economy
"The International Trade Study^[5] reveals that 470,000 Oregon jobs are associated with exporting and importing activities in both the manufacturing and non-manufacturing sectors. Portland-metro accounts for 268,000 of those jobs. Additionally, the study says that workers in export-oriented firms earn between 9 and 18 percent more than their counterparts in non-export-oriented firms..."

Go to story: New study looks at Portland trade

Go to study: International Trade Study

Go to Sustainable Local Economy website: Sustainable Business Network of Portland

Friday | December 17, 2010

Awwww!
"Claus is a nice young boy looking for his furever home. He came to OHS through (Oregon Humane Society's) Second Chance program from Merced County Animal Control. Claus is a very happy and loving boy who can be overwhelmed in new situations. Once he feels secure he will reward you with his kisses and fun-loving nature. Are you interested in a small dog that enjoys going on walks then cuddling up on the couch, why not come down and meet Claus?"

Go to story: Shelter Dogs Available For Adoption

Go to OHS: Oregon Humane Society

Go to Claus the dog: Sponsor me!

Thursday | December 16, 2010

Do You Read, Or Know Someone Who Does?
Do you or that someone you know ever feel "Portland-Curious"? Or do you just want to expand your personal library by another nine Portland-oriented books? Well, it's your lucky day! Portland's Neighborhood Notes has got nine "must-read" suggestions for you.

Go to story: Portland Books: 9 Must-Reads for Locals, Visitors and "Portland-Curious"

Wednesday | December 15, 2010

Liquor License Required To Drive Food Cart Booze Sales
Are you longing for the good ol' "three martini lunch" days, but a paucity of time and loose change forces you to stumble over to the nearest food cart for lunch? Take heart! Portland food cart operators feel your pain and are applying for the licenses necessary to fill you with spirits.
Go to story: Food cart owners eye possibility of liquor licenses, as Portland and Oregon officials hash out a plan

Tuesday | December 14, 2010

New "Fresh Meat" Rose City Rollers Roll In As Veterans Roll Out
"Shiny new bright skaters: Awnry O’Hulligan joined GNR, and the Heathers drafted Teqkill’ya, White Flight, Shame Girl, and Uff-Da. Recent departures: GNR lost Cher the Pain, Axl Blows, and Knocker Brown to retirement. The Heathers are losing Viagrra Falls, and the skater formerly known as Mick U Cry is now skating for the Wheels of Justice only as Mick Swagger. Rhea Derange is also going travel team only, and Rose the Rioter said goodbye. The High Rollers have been standing pat since September. Big changes are afoot this week as the Fresh Meat draft is coming up on Thursday."

Go to story: Skater Resources Update

Monday | December 13, 2010

Green Consumerism: Let Us Count The Logic Flaws
It's no secret that ever since we humans domesticated ourselves (organizing ourselves into "civilizations," for instance), we've embarked on a one-way trip to self-extinction. This is made most obvious, perhaps, by the clever little gadgets we invent: nuclear weapons, automobiles, robotic warfare, "free market" economics, frankenfoods,^[6] Nazi gas chambers and many, many others. But sometimes it's the mundane "little things" like "green consumerism," as TreeHugger.com points out, that makes our sad fate most obvious. Happy holidays.

Go to story: 5 Green Things We Really Need More Of

Sunday | December 12, 2010

More Wall Street Bonus Equivalents Diverted To Oregon Mortgage Payment Assistance Program
As reported by PortlandWikiNewsLeaks last Friday, the Oregon Mortgage Payment Assistance Program has cleverly found a way to divert cash payout equivalents normally reserved for the filthy rich to aid struggling Oregon mortgage defraudees. According to Jolynne Ash at www.portlandmyway.com, "Oregon has $220 million dollars to assist homeowners facing foreclosure with making their monthly payments. Qualifying applicants will be chosen at random and may receive mortgage payment assistance of up to $20,000. Applications will only be accepted between December 10 and January 14, 2011 so act now and spread the word." If the figure of $220 million in available assistance is accurate (up from $100 million, as reported on Friday), the number of Wall Street Bonus Equivalents (WSBE) available to assist struggling victims of Wall Street's mortgage fraud has risen from 1 to 2 & 1/5 (assuming an average $100 million bonus for each Wall Street derivatives trader).

Go to stories:

Go to help page: Oregon Homeownership Stabilization Initiative

Saturday | December 11, 2010

Imagine A Whole Lot More
Portland City Commissioner, Nick Fish muses that "you may have noticed an undeveloped wedge of land between I-84 and I-205. Instead, imagine an oasis of greenery, trails, and recreation activities." But why stop imagining there? After all, didn't Barney the Purple Dinosaur urge folks to "use your imaginations"? Imagine replacing the ugly and dangerous I-84 and I-205 highways with delightful light rail trains and bike paths filled with joyous bicyclists. Imagine all that yukky edge city, suburban and exurban sprawl morphing into healthy, sustainable ecovillages. Imagine there's no hell below us; above us only sky. And can you imagine all the people sharing all the world? Or "someday" when the world will "live as one"?

Go to story: Gateway Green milestone

Go to purple dinosaur: Barney & Friends

Go to lyrics: Imagine's Lyrics written by John Lennon

Friday | December 10, 2010

TOTAL SHOCKER!! One Wall Street Bonus Check Diverted To Bail Out 5000 Delinquent Oregon Mortgage Defraudees!
What will that unfortunate derivatives trader tell his or her family? What if your $100 million bonus check was suddenly snatched away from you just before Christmas and you were forced to make ends meet on nothing but your utterly inadequate seven figure salary!?! Can't those shiftless Oregon deadbeats just cower graciously in a tent city, abandoned sports stadium or squalid homeless shelter and stop grasping so greedily for the hard-earned gratuities that Wall Street traders, corporate executives and other captains of "free enterprise" so richly deserve?

Go to story: Oregon to Launch $100 Million Mortgage Assistance Initiative

Go to help page: Oregon Homeownership Stabilization Initiative

Go to homeless shelter: Oregon Homeless Shelters: "With the recession in Oregon, many of these shelters now have waiting lists. Many waiting lists are very long."

Thursday | December 9, 2010

Interview: Public Servant & Bike Pusher
Elizabeth Trinh first became a part of the Holiday Bike Drive when she began signing up participants at the Housing Authority of Portland. Now she volunteers for the Community Cycling Center's Holiday Bike Drive, and translates bicycle safety materials into Vietnamese. Her efforts "have greatly enhanced" the organization's "ability to reach more families more effectively."

Go to story: Holiday Bike Drive Stories: Elizabeth Trinh, Community Partner and Volunteer Translator

Wednesday | December 8, 2010

Carefully Crafted Jobs Program For Imprisoned Spies Squashed By Authorities
Nathan Nicholson, the son of the highest ranking CIA officer ever to be sentenced for espionage, just wanted to help his imprisoned father reestablish his spying career. "Daddy spy"--Harold James "Jim" Nicholson--is currently serving a 283-month (23-year) sentence at the Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) in Sheridan, Oregon after pleading guilty in 1997 to spying for Russia. The younger Nicholson--who pleaded guilty last year to helping his father restart his spying career--was sentenced Tuesday to probation and community service "for continuing his jailed father's espionage activities."
Go to stories:

Tuesday | December 7, 2010

Brain meltdowns. Courtesy the cell tower near you?

Will Cell Phone Microwaves Really Fry Your Brain?
Find out for yourself. You can participate in a cell tower follow-up meeting today:

Tuesday, December 7th from 7 to 8 at SE Uplift.

Location: 3534 SE Main St. (SE Main Street, between SE 35th Avenue & SE 36th Avenue), Portland, OR 97214.

This meeting will focus on getting organized and creating working groups around the many issues facing us when cell towers are placed in neighborhoods.

Go to stories:

Monday | December 6, 2010

Fuel Tax For Public Transit: Fund Robust Public Transit & Reduce Motor Vehicle Use
Unlike current funding schemes for public transportation, funding for road construction and maintenance doesn't rely on payroll taxes and high fares (the equivalent to road tolls). "Instead, the funding mechanisms for these come primarily from general fund sources (city/county property taxes), fees (construction assessments, license/registration fees), and fuel taxes--a kindasorta user fee..." Is there a better way? How would Portland benefit if riders had access to quality, frequent and fare-free public transportation?

Go to story: Rethinking transit: Funding and equity

Sunday | December 5, 2010

A New Low For Portland, But It's A Good One!
In 1993 the City of Portland became the first local government in the United States to adopt a plan to reduce carbon emissions. Last week Portland City Council received Year One Progress Report from the City of Portland's Bureau of Planning and Sustainability for Portland and Multnomah County's Climate Action Plan.

The report finds that Portland and Multnomah County have made substantial progress in carrying out the actions identified in the plan. Local emissions have dropped 15 percent since 2000, sharply countering the national trend. Despite rapid population growth, local greenhouse gas emissions in 2009 were two percent below 1990 levels, the baseline year referenced in the Kyoto Protocol. On a per-capita basis, emissions in Multnomah County have fallen by 20 percent since 1990.

Go to story: Portland Reduces Carbon Emissions, Bucking the National Trend

Go to Climate Action Plan: Portland Climate Action Plan "Portland Climate Action Now!"

Saturday | December 4, 2010

Boardman Buys Itself Another Decade
Oregon regulators are endorsing Portland General Electric's plan to close its coal-fired power plant at Boardman by Dec. 31, 2020. The state Department of Environmental Quality says Boardman's guaranteed "early closure date" lets it off the hook for investing in expensive new pollution controls. The Boardman plant opened in 1977.

Go to stories:

Friday | December 3, 2010

Memo To Confidential Document Writers: "Think Big"
WikiLeaks, the publisher of "leaked documents alleging government and corporate misconduct," continues to help confidential document writers find wider audiences. PortlandWiki contributor and wiki inventor, Ward Cunningham, observes that "the authors of diplomatic dispatches thought that they were talking to a small audience, not the world." Cunningham adds "I'm proud of the fact that wiki has given a voice to new authors."

Go to stories:

Thursday | December 2, 2010

Blowing Bubbles
PortlandWikiNews is shocked! just shocked! to discover that communities--like Portland and Las Vegas--which supposedly "benefited" in the (now disgraced and deflated) housing bubble have taken some of the worst economic hits after the bubble's inevitable burst. According to University of Oregon economics professor Tim Duy, "in late 1980s and early 1990s, manufacturing was really important, particularly high-tech manufacturing. But in this last decade, it was all about housing." Ironically, in this most recent economic crash, "rust belt" manufacturing hubs like Detroit have fared relatively well compared to cities like Portland or Las Vegas, which experienced real estate speculation and were thus deeply affected by the bursting housing bubble.

Go to story: Las Vegas, Portland among cities hardest hit by recession

Wednesday | December 1, 2010

We've All Gotta Die Someday
Yup. Even you. But before you die, Portland Octopus urges you to try Mt. Angel Brewing Company's root beer.
Go to story: Before you die: You Must Try this Root Beer!

Tuesday | November 30, 2010

Rainbow Coalition Of Crime
"This is the first time Adams has ever been so curt toward Oregon's would-be white bigots, saying, basically, 'Chill out white people, because if we're pointing fingers, we're not so great.' Adams is white himself, so presumably he'll be less vulnerable to the manufactured outrage to be leveled at him.... In the meantime, try and think of a time any other white politician was so bracingly direct when speaking to his mostly white constituency about anti-Muslim hysteria."

Go to stories:

Monday | November 29, 2010

File:Atlas-shrugs-girl-with-globe.jpg

Bereft of soul, the Atlas Shrugs Girl bares her body instead.

The Truth Revealed! Now We Know Why "They Hate Us"!
A tireless PortlandWikiLeaks investigation has uncovered the honest to Allah truthful answer to "why they hate us." Winds Of Jihad^[7] comment contributor, aussiegirl, informs us that "Once again Islam has to make out ITS the victim!!! when in reality they are all taught to hate us at their mosques." But wait, there's more! "Hate monger and anti-mosque queen bee"^[8] Pamela Geller is kind enough, despite standing accused as a "geriatric Paris Hilton knock-off with...too-oft-seen cleavage,"^[9] to bare her ~~soul~~, uh, breasts in order to tip off unsuspecting Portlandians with the latest diabolical intrigues perpetrated by Portland's "communist elected officials."

Go to story: Portland Mayor Tom Potter and City Council Assisted Muslim Teen Terrorist in Plot to Blow up 25,000 Americans

Sunday | November 28, 2010

Haters: What Makes Them Hate?
Once again, the troubling question arises: How can someone witness the brutality, violence, torture, hatred, greed, envy, lust, tyranny, depravity, wars, invasions, ethnic cleansings, squalor, misery and decay that humans perpetrate upon one another and then decide to "hate"?

Go to stories:

Saturday | November 27, 2010

Toy-filled sleighs are more traditional Christmas vehicles than vans packed with dudly explosives.

Pissed-Off Teenage Boy's Life Takes Tragic Turn
Mohamed Osman Mohamud could have had a bright future as a U.S. Air Force predator drone pilot^[10] slaughtering third world villagers half a world away. Tragically, a motley crew of Pakistani jihadists and undercover F.B.I. operatives convinced Mohamud to reach for "jihadi glory" instead. On Friday night, the F.B.I. arrested Mohamud for attempting to set off a dud bomb, provided by F.B.I. undercover operatives, at Portland's Pioneer Courthouse Square minutes before the city's annual tree-lighting ceremony.

Go to stories:

Friday | November 26, 2010

TriMet Board To Vote On Proposal For Portland-To-Milwaukie MAX Line
TriMet's board will vote on six resolutions at its Dec. 8 meeting. Project is expected to cost roughly $365 million, and would include a new bridge over the Willamette River with additional access for pedestrians and bicycle riders.

Go to story: TriMet poised to start new MAX project

Thanksgiving Day | Thursday | November 25, 2010

Giving Thanks, And A Little More...
Portland Mayor Sam Adams is "thankful for the people who make this City what it is – a welcoming, exciting, compassionate and innovative place where anyone from anywhere in the world can find their community." The mayor also expresses gratitude "for the countless ways in which Portlanders look out for one another," and asks Portlandians to consider giving back:

The Old Town mission is also seeking sleeping bags, blankets, socks and gloves. They can be dropped of at 3 N.W. Third Ave.
Portland Rescue Mission – is seeking blankets, and other donations
Homeless Family Warming Center is seeking blankets, food and household items, Eastminster Presbyterian Church at 125th and NE Halsey Street, drop off 7pm - 9pm
And other great opportunities for giving can be found at more than 80 organizations represented in Willamette Week’s Give Guide

Go to story: Giving Thanks

Wednesday | November 24, 2010

Who'll Stop The Pain?
You will! In Oregon, self-medicating is as American as DIY. Oregon ranks fifth nationally for prescription painkiller abuse and has the highest rate in the country among 18- to 25-year-olds.^[11] Dramatic spikes in diagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and other mental disorders has fueled an unprecedented reliance on pharmaceutical medications. Canadian physician Dr. Gabor Maté argues that these responses are treating surface symptoms as causes while ignoring deeper roots. Dr. Maté says children are in fact reacting to the broader collapse of the nurturing conditions needed for their healthy development.
Go to stories:

Tuesday | November 23, 2010

"Shadow Inventory" Of "Distressed Homes" To Hit "Real Estate Market"
A wave of distressed residential properties may flood an already saturated residential real estate market in the coming months, according to CoreLogic, "a leading provider of consumer, financial and property information, analytics and services to business and government." There was an 11 month supply of "distressed homes" in the Portland-Vancouver-Hillsboro metro area in August. (CoreLogic defines "distressed homes" as residential property with mortgage payments more than 90 days delinquent or in foreclosure.) The "globalized free market" system's built-in stabilizers automatically correct marketplace deviations like "shadow inventories" of "distressed homes"--brought about by the continuing criminal enterprises carried out on Wall Street, in corporate boardrooms of major multinational corporations, and in the halls of Congress^[12]--by bailing out distressed banks, paying outlandish bonuses to "investment bankers," and making homeless serfs out of everyone else.

Go to story: Distressed homes to hit real estate market

Go to report: Shadow Inventory Jumps More Than 10 Percent in One Year, Pushing Total Unsold Inventory to 6.3 Million Units

Monday | November 22, 2010

Happy Women Love To Read
Mercy Corps' "M POWER Project" department suggests you join Mercy Corps and Powell's Books to help teach women to read, and how NOT to shop at Amazon dot com. You can "be the change" you always wanted to be and help teach hundreds of Indian women to read and write, boosting their self-esteem and empowering them to open bank accounts, start small businesses, participate fully in their households and communities, and NOT shop online. Powell's will throw in a free Powell's Books tote bag if you jump through all the necessary hoops and meet all their other requirements.

Go to story: M Power Project: Empower Women In India Through Literacy

Sunday | November 21, 2010

Fu*k Wall Street

"Eager Beaver" Police State Does Its Part To Stick It To The Man
A Portland hedge fund analyst exposed his virile manliness by standing up to "two fresh faced eager beavers from the FBI" and refusing to "wear a wire and therefore ensnare (his clients) in (the 'eager beavers') devious web." (It's also manly to mix metaphors like "beavers" with "devious web" or "spiders" with "devious dam.") Afterward the hedge fund inside trading analyst cursed the Portland Timbers for failing to drive the FBI's "eager beavers" out of Portland as successfully as they banished the Portland Beavers from Stumptown.

Go to story: U.S. in Vast Insider Trading Probe

Saturday | November 20, 2010

Concern Mounts Over Portland's Public Displays Of Wanton Gluttony
Labeled "America's New Food Eden," meat-centric restaurants like the Beast, Country Cat, People's Pig and other "lardcore" eateries serve non-kosher food that is "so good it will literally make you sick." In the midst of all this pork barrel fetishizing, has anyone stopped to think about the poor, starving waifs in Africa? Enquiring stomachs want to know.

Go to story: Why Portland Is America's New Food Eden

q6pWh3 <a href="http://urhdrmhycqrt.com/">urhdrmhycqrt</a>, [url=http://czvvybjaotof.com/]czvvybjaotof[/url], [link=http://yoekdqkkdkel.com/]yoekdqkkdkel[/link], http://pagnnmbahlhu.com/

Thursday | November 18, 2010

The Best Little Streetcar In Texas
Fort Worth puts runaway Portland streetcar on display.

Go to story: Model streetcar goes on display in downtown Fort Worth

Wednesday | November 17, 2010

R.I.P. City
Q. Why is Portland, Oregon nicknamed Rip City?
A. Trail Blazers guard, Jim Barnett, ripped the net in 1970 causing the sports announcer to hyperventilate and coin the phrase "Rip City."
Go to story: Why is Portland Oregon nicknamed rip city?

Tuesday | November 16, 2010

Pouting PETAphiles Ponder "Proudbody Patdowns" @ PDX
The success of PETA's "proud body" campaign depends on ubiquitous distribution of TSA's full-body scanners at all major airports. Unfortunately, the scanners slated for Portland International Airport (PDX) have failed to materialize and "Portland is not on TSA's deployment list" for the remainder of the year. Can PETA's "proud body" campaign successfully exploit any furtive gropings and fondlings TSA's "handlers" inflict upon Portland's air travel victims?

Go to stories:

Monday | November 15, 2010

**Full Disclosure**: Not every bully who treads on the already downtrodden is a dancing Nazi.

America's "Moral Majority" Blame Poor Folks For Economic Blight Imposed By Wall Street
"Political conservatives (continue) to blame poor African-Americans and Hispanics for the very act of being poor even as 43.6 million Americans of all racial stripes, 12.3 percent of them white, are living in poverty and collectively struggling to survive the fallout of an economic downturn (characterized by) widespread layoffs, massive home foreclosures and loss of retirement savings and other assets."

Go to story: Conservatives Blame the Poor for being Poor

Sunday | November 14, 2010

"Queen Of Terror" Denied Entry
Rose City "radicals" question their own "victory" after realizing they just bolstered Portland's reputation as bastion of monochromatic pseudo-liberalism by compelling a conservative black woman to take refuge in "(Dick) Cheney's bunker."

Go to story: VICTORY?

Saturday | November 13, 2010

Coal Controversy Heats Up
PGE's coal-fired power plant in Boardman, Oregon "puts toxins into the air and water (that are) responsible for four of the five leading causes of death in the United States. These are serious toxins. If we wait another 10 years (to close the plant) the impacts could be disruptive and permanent."

Go to story: Debate flares over coal-fired power: Environmentalists at odds over when is best time to close pollution-causing plant in Boardman, Ore.

Go to info resource center: End Mountaintop Removal Action and Resource Center

Friday | November 12, 2010

Clearcut Cell Towers; Leave The Trees
Perhaps you're one of the dozens--if not hundreds--of folks across Consumertopia who has permanently switched off your cell phone because you can no longer feel good about our culture's "insatiable demand for electronics products such as cell phones and laptops" that "fuel waves of sexual violence" in places "that most of us will never go." No more trade in conflict minerals for you! And you're no longer overheating your brains with cell phone radiation and looking foolish by pressing an electronic gadget up against your head while chattering aimlessly as you hurtle down the highway or stumble along the sidewalk. But wait; there's something more: cell phone towers. They gotta go. Good news! You're invited to attend a workshop that'll show you how to get rid of 'em.

Go to stories:

Thursday | November 11, 2010

Today Is Veterans Day; Do You Know Where Your Veteran Is?
"More than 10 percent of Oregon's homeless are veterans. There are 19 separate squatter villages populated primarily with homeless veterans in Central Oregon alone, and that's only the ones the Central Oregon Veterans Outreach group knows about. Many of them are addicted to drugs, or suffering from PTSD."

Go to story: Veteran assistance programs aid more homeless veterans in the winter

Wednesday | November 10, 2010

Neighborhood Greenways: From Asphalt To Bike Path, One Street At A Time
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Portland's Bureau of Transportation (PBOT) claims that neighborhood greenways are "much more than just chevrons painted on the asphalt." PortlandWiki News has in fact discovered they're traffic calming devices like speed bumps, extended curbs, stormwater management planters and all the other features that bike bloggers and city planners prattle on and on about.

Go to stories:

Tuesday | November 9, 2010

Watersheds & Woodpeckers
Did you know that "we live in a watershed within a watershed within a watershed"? Were you also aware that a "watershed is an area of land that drains to a body of water"? Perhaps you suspect that we also live in a woodshed within a woodshed that drains into the clearcutting maws of the "forest products" industry within an industry. And that our woodshed's woodpeckers frolic with our watershed's waterpeckers. In short, we live in Ecotopia.
Go to story: The Water Cycle in Portland: Living in a Watershed

Monday | November 8, 2010

Two Convicts & A Frog
"Much to the surprise of research scientists and zookeepers" participating "in a 'head start' program to bolster" the Oregon spotted frog's "dwindling population," James Goodall, a convicted drug dealer and fellow inmate, convicted robber Harry Greer apparently make great endangered frog nannies. In a fenced off-area behind Cedar Creek Correctional Center called "Frogga Walla," the two men spend nine hours a day feeding and tending to the endangered little critters. "We baby them like little kids," said Goodall, adding "They've got personalities, too, it seems like." "People may not think prisons are the right place for this type of environmental work, but it's the ideal place," said Chad Lewis, spokesman for the state Department of Corrections. "We have folks with plenty of time in a controlled environment. That's what you need."

Go to stories:

Sunday | November 7, 2010

Bend-Area Pinkos Turn Red County Blue
Deschutes County finally agreed to take the fall for Kitzhaber's election. "Although Dudley easily carried Deschutes County, Kitzhaber picked up more than 24,000 votes here – more than enough to put him over the top."

Go to story: FLASH: Deschutes County Gives Election to Kitzhaber!

Saturday | November 6, 2010

Riding The Rails
The Portland Streetcar Loop Project brought new rail tracks and changed traffic patterns that "will alter the cycling conditions in the vicinity of the west end of the Broadway Bridge and require that all travelers in the area be aware of new signs, lane markings, street and signal configurations and streetcar tracks."

Go to story: New streetcar tracks, one-way streets will affect cyclists in the Pearl District

Friday | November 5, 2010

Former Pedophobiac Discovers He Likes "The Little Buggers"
After citing his "recent study" showing that "50% of parents have lost all touch with reality," blogger claims that "children don't bother me anymore. I used to blame most of the ills of the world on children, even when I myself was a child, but as of late I'm finding more and more that I actually like the little buggers. I like kids."

Go to story: According to my recent study, 50% of parents have lost all touch with reality

Thursday | November 4, 2010

"Ungovernable" State Government Gets Governor
Political scientists claim "cosmic joke" will lead to "bloodbath of hostility, recrimination, backbiting, claims and counterclaims, the worst of what ordinary citizens think of politicians."

Go to story: Portland-area ballots boost Kitzhaber past Dudley in Oregon

Wednesday | November 3, 2010

Teabag Takeover Stops Short
Although the "grassroots" national-corporatist forces handily blitzkrieged the U.S. House, the thunderous goose-steps appear to have halted short of a full Senate takeover. Some economists worry that absence of a full totalitarian mandate may slow predator drone production and delay construction of new forced labor camps, retarding growth in the emerging soylent green economy.

Go to story: TEA PARTY: From Fringe Element To Power Player

Tuesday | November 2, 2010

Today Is "Stuff Your Ballot In A Box" Day!
In a free and open society like ours, we have the rare privilege of voting for the elite factions who have done the cleverest job at deluding us with outrageous campaign spending, financed by filthy outside lucre blessed by the Supreme Court of the United States. If you haven't done so already, go find a ballot box near you and stuff it.

Go to Official Ballot Drop Sites page: Official Ballot Drop Sites

Call the Election Protection hotline: 1 (866) OUR-VOTE

Go to stories:

Monday | November 1, 2010

Hello. We're public servants and we're here to help you.

Portland Cops: Ours Vs. Theirs
Maybe if cops from Portland, Maine's police department had gotten hold of James Chasse they wouldn't have beaten him to a bloody pulp and left him to die. On the other hand, if not for our cops, who could we depend on to shoot little 12 year-old girls waiting for the next MAX train?

Go to stories:

Sunday | October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween!
Are "scary" Tea Party candidates sending voters running back into the arms of the Democratic Party? Despite $1.7 billion spent on TV ads that "Republican and Tea Party candidates are streaming now all over America," it's the "Halloween theme" that is "doing more to turn off voters than turning them on to the Republican's ultra-conservative message." For instance, the "I am not a witch" message put out by Delaware's Tea Party candidate, Christine O’Donnell, "is viewed by political analysts as one of the strangest ever."

Go to story: Democratic comeback “scares” GOP as election nears

Saturday | October 30, 2010

Unforgivable
Right-wing blogger denounces "glossy election porn" while shilling for dens of iniquity. Meanwhile other right-wing astro turfers for the Prison Industrial Complex "were indicted Tuesday on accusations they forged voter signatures on two initiative petitions." Isn't it more intelligent to say "to hell with gambling casinos and more prisons" and vote for Voter-Owned Elections?

Go to stories:

Friday | October 29, 2010

How long does it take mail to go from San Francisco to Portland, Oregon?
Question: If I put an envelope in a mailbox in San Francisco at like 9:30 on Thursday night, when will it arrive at its destination in Portland, Oregon? (asked by "justcoollikedat")
Best answer: "one week" (answered by "xtina")

Go to story: How long does it take mail to go from San Francisco to Portland, Oregon?

Thursday | October 28, 2010

Cops In "The Other Portland" Drop Their Weapons
Police in Portland, Maine raised eyebrows after their sniper rifles began shooting all by themselves. A police training video shows the Remington 700 rifles -- "a mainstay for the U.S. military, law enforcement and gun enthusiasts" -- firing "when the trigger was not being pulled." Not realizing the weapons system's "loose cannon-like" behavior was a "feature" rather than a defect, Police Chief James Craig said "I don't want to run the risk of having an accidental discharge" that could soil an officer's pants or put a "community member's life in danger."

Go to story: Portland police drop rifles amid safety concerns

Wednesday | October 27, 2010

Republican Party Campaign Flyer Freakout!
GOP operatives work so hard and get so little respect. It's not easy slathering thick wads of sleazy pro-corporate lucre everywhere just to buy up an election or two. But that's nothin'! Throwing elections and lining the Supreme Court with hand-picked corporate quislings is a messy, thankless chore. That's why it's just so upsetting when the public gets in the way. Like when an errant teacher's union flyer finds its way into a kindergartener's school folder. These types of shenanigans show blatant disrespect of one's societal betters. Jeez! I'd make a Federal case outta that kinda nonsense too. Wouldn't you?

Go to story: Union flyer found in student's folder upsets GOP

Tuesday | October 26, 2010

Unthank Park's Upgrade: A Thankless Task Thanked
A resourceful City Commissioner manages to thrust two thankful thumbs upwards, expressing "thanks" to "our Parks maintenance staff" for the park's new "facelift."

Go to story: Unthank Park upgrade

Go to park page: DeNorval Unthank Park

Monday | October 25, 2010

South Waterfront: Urban wasteland and ideal film prop.

Secret Revealed: South Waterfront Is Actually Portland's Most Overpriced Film Prop
And you thought South Waterfront was merely "a highrise wasteland of condos no one lives in." But for "budgetless" film directors "it’s a filmmaker’s dream." Why? If you "want to film a scene with a skyscraper environment without the hassles of random people interrupting your shot" the "very deadness of SoWat makes it (an) ideal (location). You’ve got skyscrapers, busses, the streetcar, the tram, the river. And now there’s even a really cute park. It all feels pretty generic.... It could be any city."

Go to story: South Waterfront: Ideal for Filmmakers?

Sunday | October 24, 2010

Oregon Woman Seeks Out "Lives To Change"
Presses evil roots into hapless hands of unsuspecting, disconcerted "changelings."

Go to story: Woman seeks to change lives with $100 a day

Saturday | October 23, 2010

Playin' Chicken
Portland "authorities" will let you keep three hens. Where are you gonna put that fowl li'l harem? A stylin' chicken coop, of course!

Go to story: Coop Dreams

Friday | October 22, 2010

Yo Homie! It's EZ Being Green!
Sure, the Environmental Protection Agency paddled Portland General Electric on the bum bum earlier this month to punish the utility for the coal-fired air pollution its Boardman plant inflicts on breathing life forms. Despite these sins, the City of Portland managed to crawl onto "EPA's elite list of Green Power Communities for the city's extensive efforts to reduce its carbon footprint."

Go to stories:

Thursday | October 21, 2010

Takin' Care Of Business And Workin' Overtime
"Leadership Council" frets that "Portland's hyper-pluralistic decision-making process" may disrupt public development schemes, concocted behind "closed doors," to lure "private investment." Proposes "Community Investment Initiative" to "overcome a uniquely Portland roadblock."

Go to story: Reserves used as template for investment Leadership Council idea

Wednesday | October 20, 2010

Barack Does Bridge City
As the President rolls through Portland today, the burning question on the tip of every Portlandian's wagging tongue is: "Does Obama support U.S. Predator Drone Bombing Policy (USPDBP) in his Heart of Hearts (HoH)? Or is this kind of depraved folly the product of a Spiritually Dead National Security Policy (SDNSP) imposed by Nefarious Deep State Forces (NDSF) that infest the Wretched Bowels of the National Security State (WBNSS)?" Enquiring minds want to know!

Go to story: Pakistan, Afghanistan on Obama's agenda

Tuesday | October 19, 2010

When the Timbers were away, the Beavers could play.

Timbers Ready To Chop Down Some Trees!
But wait! Wasn't that the Beavers' job!?!

Go to story: Major League Soccer Expansion: Portland Timbers Sign Four Players

Monday | October 18, 2010

Are You Stumbling Over Your Own Clown-Sized Feet?
Take heart! Chinese footware giant Li-Ning has established a "foothold" in Portland. Centuries of tradition practically guarantees wearers a "smaller footprint."

Go to story: Move over Carbon Footprint. The Chinese have landed in Portland to introduce a smaller footprint for runners.

Sunday | October 17, 2010

Portland Beavers Will Migrate To More "Southerly Regions"
A Portland institution since 1903, the triple-A team is pawned off to a San Diego-based baseball executive.

Go to story: Portland Beavers Sold To San Diego Padres' Owner

Saturday | October 16, 2010

North Portland's Roughriders Persecute Christian Royalty
"It didn't take long for the bigger and stronger Roosevelt Roughriders to jump in front of the Portland Christian Royals in a non league football game Friday night..."

Go to story: Roosevelt Roughriders run over Portland Christian in Oregon football

Friday | October 15, 2010

Setback For Green Economy: Shrub Man Gets Clipped
Maybe he should've disguised himself as a museum piece to pull off a heist at the yard & garden center.

Go to story: Man dressed as underbrush tries to rob museum

Thursday | October 14, 2010

The Glen Jackson Bridge's Standpipe System Serves An Honorable & Noble Purpose
Did you know that standpipes "basically serve the same purpose as fire hydrants and are used by fire personnel to supply water to remote locations." Neither did PortlandWiki's NewsEditorBOT (NEbot) until it stumbled upon the Fire Blog.

Go to story: Station 12 Tests Glen Jackson Bridge's Standpipe System

Wednesday | October 13, 2010

Killing Robo Elections In Three Easy Steps
1. Unplug your TV.
2. Disconnect your phone.
3. Plug in Voter-Owned Elections.

Go to story: Fair, Open and Accountable Elections: A counterweight to wealthy special interests

Go to robo elections service provider to wealthy special interests: Political Campaign Robo Calls

Tuesday | October 12, 2010

Onramp To Oblivion
The milepost just ahead: one billion vehicles on the beleaguered planet's roads. By 2020 traffic accidents will be the third biggest cause of "death and disease" worldwide. That's above war, violence, and "self-inflicted injuries." Traffic fatalities are still the leading cause of death for U.S. children.

Go to story: 5 Things It's OK to Hate About Your Car

Go to rant: I Hate Cars, I Hate Driving

Go to juvenile prank: Drivers Not Wanted

Monday | October 11, 2010

"Wear sky blue" advises Dr. Maya Angelou.

Celebrate Community Healing Days: October 15, 16, and 17, 2010
Portland's African American community is invited to take part in the second annual Community Healing Days, a multi-day and multi-venue celebration that aims to heal the community from "lies that have been told to us and lies we've told ourselves."

Go to story: Community Healing Days Celebration Oct. 15-17

Sunday | October 10, 2010

Today Is 350.org's 10/10/10 Global Work Party Day.
People all over the world are joining together to demonstrate how humans can find ways to live more gracefully with our planet. Get to work building the change we want to see in our communities, from planting forests to installing wind and solar power generation facilities on schoolhouses to digging a community garden.

Go to story: 10/10/10: Find an Event Near You

Go to wiki: Welcome to the 350.org Global Work Party Wiki

Check out what others are doing: Ideas For Your 10/10 Work Party

Saturday | October 9, 2010

Terrifying Baby Cougar Spotted At Zoo
Suddenly appearing without warning, the cub and its mother, a Washington cougar named Chinook, hadn't been seen in public since the cub's birth last month.

Go to story: Cute alert: Oregon Zoo shows off baby cougar

Friday | October 8, 2010

Where Did Corporate Kingpins Move Your Job?
Find out with Working America's "Job Tracker."

Go to story: Who's Exporting Oregon Jobs? Find Out Online

Go to job tracker: Job Tracker

Thursday | October 7, 2010

City of Boardman: Got mountaintops? We've got mountaintop removal gear!

EPA Mails Warning Letter To Eco-Terrorists
Environmental Protection Agency's letter "gives (Portland General Electric) 30 days to meet with agency staff and outline the steps it will take to bring (PGE's hazardous coal-fired power plant in Boardman) into compliance." Oregon's Department of Environmental Quality (DEQ) continues "negotiating."

Go to story: EPA says Boardman Coal Plant Violates Clean Air Law

Wednesday | October 6, 2010

To Heck With All That "Talk Like A Pirate" Nonsense, It's...
International Walk and Bike to School Day! Woo Hoo!

Go to story: Walk and Bike to School Day roundup

Tuesday | October 5, 2010

Yo PDX Bike Snobs! Wanna see what real bicycles are made of?
If so, you might consider attending the Oregon Handmade Bicycle Show this weekend.

Go to story: Oregon Handmade Bicycle Show, October 9-10, 2010.

Monday | October 4, 2010

Wordstock: Portland, Oregon, October 7-10.
Get passionate about words, and the hallucinations humans attach to them.

Go to story: Wordstock, 4 Days of Passionate Discussions, Books and Authors, Portland, Oregon, October 7-10

Sunday | October 3, 2010

Vikings Peel Idaho Potatoes In Hillsboro
"Vikings established their potent offensive attack on their first drive of the game."

Go to story: Vikings pillage Bengals

Saturday | October 2, 2010

Portland Metro Region Home To More Than Eighty-Five Wind And Solar Energy Firms
"State and local governments have played an active role in attracting and developing ('green' energy) sectors through a myriad of incentives and assistance."

Go to stories:

Go to report:

Greater Portland Prosperity Index: A Regional Outlook (PDF)

Friday | October 1, 2010

"Moving away from a highly materialistic age."

House Sales Sink While Unemployment Stays Buoyant
But that hasn't stopped the crime lords in banking and finance from putting your family on foreclosure's fast track, now has it? What to do? DYI: Build your own shelter with locally-made, lego-like "green" bricks similar to those the Europeans used "after World War II to rebuild Europe and use all of the waste and rubble." It's all part of an "historic shift" and "reordering of priorities," says the green brick maker, who "hope(s) it's permanent and we're moving away from a highly materialistic age."

Go to stories:

Thursday | September 30, 2010

Do You Write With Forked Word Processor?
If so, maybe Portland Fiction Project wants you! If you're particularly skilled with turning actual reality into depraved fantasy, you might have a bright future as mouthpiece for government bureaucracy, multinational corporatism or the TV news!

Go to story: Portland Fiction Project Seeking Writers For Short-Term Project

Wednesday | September 29, 2010

An Assertive "Wynde" Becomes "Driving Force Behind Golden Rule"
Transforms age-old wisdom into a "social experiment in creativity and commerce (and craziness)."

Go to story: Portland Spaces: Golden Rule

Tuesday | September 28, 2010

PortlandWiki's 1st Birthday Is Today!
To celebrate, we're demoting WikiMaster to WikiBot as soon as we can figure out how.

Go to non-story: Littlest GNU Bot (in) Transition

Monday | September 27, 2010

H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival: Hollywood Theatre, October 1-2-3, 2010.

The End Is Nigh!
H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival: Comes to Portland's Hollywood Theatre, October 1-2-3, 2010.

Go to story: H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival

Sunday | September 26, 2010

Canoeist Alexander Martin: "Extreme Paddler" Ain't No Day Tripper
Begins paddling in Portland, Oregon. 4,300 miles later, ends journey in Portland, Maine.

Go to stories:

Saturday | September 25, 2010

Beat up bike spotted in front of Common Grounds Coffee House, 4321 SE Hawthorne Boulevard.

Portland, Oregon: Cheap-Ass Cars & Spendy Bikes
Phoenix, Arizona: Spendy cars & cheap-ass bikes. Can we trade?
Portland boasts lower car resale prices than most other U.S. towns. Unfortunately, the burden of over-priced used bicycles is greater only in Seattle. Will City Repair's "community lantern walks" become a favorite activity for Portlandians squeezed out of city's costly used bike culture? Or how 'bout serving up a "$20 plan" as a tasty side dish to the city's "20 minute plan"?

Go to stories:

Friday | September 24, 2010

Predator pilot strikes inferior village people with robotic hellfire to protect superior drone culture.

Kindle-Reading Predator Drone Pilot Wipes Out Entire Village Of Missing School Children
A distracted Lt. Lahcen Qouchbane accidentally squeezed his joystick moments after Sports Illustrated's "Swimsuit Issue" downloaded to his Kindle 3G. The errant squeeze unleashed the wrath of one thousand missile-drones, raining hellfire down upon the tiny village of Kyron, located in the remote Horman province. Qouchbane's joystick snafu was compounded by a CIA contractor who "illegally and hastily reverse-engineered" drone software code resulting in "inaccurate" targeting "by up to 13 metres."

Go to stories:

Thursday | September 23, 2010

Portland Transit: Dave knows, so can you.

Don't Know Jack? Can't Help You.
But Dave Knows Portland Transit!

Go to story: Portland Transit Blogging 2010

Wednesday | September 22, 2010

Portland's Homeless Populations: "Keep 'em helpless, hopeless and above all, atomized."
Why not add "barefoot and pregnant" to that list? "But if people have no choice, it's my preference that they find smaller, dispersed places to camp." - Portland City Commissioner Nick Fish

Go to story: The Coldest Shoulder: Portland Rousts a Homeless Camp that Tried to be Something More

Go to camp ground: Free Camping in the National Forests: It's called dispersed camping and it's free.

Tuesday | September 21, 2010

Porno Perverts Pummel Oregon's DOJ
Uncle Creepy can continue engaging in "practices of 'luring' and 'grooming' that expose minors to sexually explicit materials in the hopes of lowering their inhibitions against engaging in sexual conduct."

Go to story: Powell’s, ACLU and Allies Beat Anti-Porn Law at U.S. Court of Appeals

Monday | September 20, 2010

Day 172: Gabriel Park
The one hundred and seventy-second thing you can do, according to "365 Things to do in Portland."

Go to story: Day 172: Gabriel Park

Go to website: Gabriel Park, SW 45th Avenue & SW Vermont Street, Portland

Sunday | September 19, 2010

U of O Shows PSU "The 69"
Despite Ducks' willingness to "play ball," Vikings fumble.

Go to story: Ducks Rout Portland State 69-0

Saturday | September 18, 2010

Portland Roadway Slaughter Lower Than Other U.S. Towns
Motorized mayhem reigns in Atlanta, Detroit and Los Angeles. Autocide rates relatively lower in Stockholm, Berlin and Tokyo. Study fails to factor in carnage caused by resource wars.

Go to story: Portland Rated Safest Traffic City in America! Woot!

Go to study: The New York City Pedestrian Safety Study & Action Plan, New York City Department of Transportation, August 2010 (PDF)

Friday | September 17, 2010

Today Is PARK(ing) Day!
According to PARK(ing) Day (dot)ORG, "PARK(ing) Day is an annual, worldwide event that inspires city dwellers everywhere to transform metered parking spots into temporary parks for the public good." And after you and your friends finish reading Autophobia: Love and Hate in the Automotive Age, maybe EVERY(day) will become PARK(ing) Day.

Go to stories:

Thursday | September 16, 2010

Yet Another Facelift For White Stag Sign?
Sign's current owner "gives" sign to City of Portland in exchange for a $2000 monthly maintenance contract. Property developer will foot the $200,000 new makeover tab for the high-maintenance Stag.

Go to story: Portland now owner of Made in Oregon sign

Wednesday | September 15, 2010

Less Than 0.01 Percent Of Food Stamp Funds Spent At Farmers' Markets
"It is the best place to spend (your monthly food stamp allotment)," said Anna Curtin, education and outreach specialist for the Portland Farmers Market in Oregon. "It benefits (food stamp) users, it benefits the farmer, it benefits the larger community. And it is the freshest, healthiest food you can buy."

Go to story: Farmers' markets draw few food stamp users

Tuesday | September 14, 2010

"Disturbance" Blamed As Source Of Woes
Unwilling to find source of peace deep within, Old Town resident blames "external disturbances" instead.

Go to story: DISTURBANCE

Monday | September 13, 2010

Help Wanted: Professional Malingerer
From Craig's List Help Wanted Ad: "Part-time temporary positions available for healthy women between 45-55 years of age who are needed to portray 'fake' patients of Hispanic descent as part of a study assessing healthcare delivery in rural Oregon."

Go to story: Simulated Patient Position available (Portland, OR )

Sunday | September 12, 2010

Enjoy Life--Eat Out More Often *
Portland Eats Out is "a community of like-minded eaters, coming together." "Staff Eaters" hit the streets to build "a tribe of restaurants, cafes, coffee shops, bars and food carts to participate in the program." "Members" are encouraged "to 'Eat Out' frequently on slower nights."

Go to story: Introducing Portland Eats Out, a community-focused dining program supporting local restaurants and the Oregon Food Bank

Saturday | September 11, 2010

Member of Portland's Black Bloc (a loose coalition of infiltrators, snitches, *agents provocateurs* and homeless goth-vegan runaways) carries the flag in honor of National Fly The Flag Day.

Today is "national fly the flag" or "burn someone's holy book" day!
Tea Party militia groups urge Americans to "fly the flag," while dominionist religious cults threaten to burn some other religion's holy book. In Portland, independent journalists and talk show hosts will burn copies of the 9/11 Commission Report.

Go to story: GROUP TO BURN 9/11 COMMISSION REPORT AT ANNIVERSARY GATHERING

Friday | September 10, 2010

Bonghits With Blumenauer In Bridgetown
National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML) rolls into Portland for 39th annual convention.

Go to story: NORML National Conference In Portland, OR

Thursday | September 9, 2010

Texas Hold 'Em Fever Overwhelms House Of Pain
Uncontrollable "rowdy, lawless" behavior at illegal NE Portland gambling den leaves city toothless.

Go to story: Poker gamble fails to pay off

Wednesday | September 8, 2010

Bike thieves "liberate" Bike Free's "Buttercup."

Charity Begins At Home; Ends In Portland
After a 3500 mile ride from Maryland to Oregon, Bike Free's "Buttercup" gets ripped off in Portland. How will Paul and Adam complete their journey and carry out the Bike Free mission? Fear not! "With God’s help," they’ll "overcome this selfish deed, get bikes to the kids, and continue spreading the word about the goodness of bikes."

Go to story: Bike stolen in Portland after 3,000 mile charity ride

Tuesday | September 7, 2010

Big Timbers Run Little Beavers Outta P-Town
Portland Beavers, the Rose City's minor league baseball team and Portland institution since 1903, is pushed out of PGE Park (formerly Multnomah Stadium) by Portland's new major league soccer team, Portland Timbers.

Go to story: Triple-A Beavers say goodbye to Portland

Monday | September 6, 2010

Oxbow Regional Park: A Wonderful Place To Raise Your Homeless Family
Did you lose your job quite a while back? Your unemployment insurance finally sputtered out? A bailed-out bank foreclosed your family out of your home, and you're sick of squabbling with other homeless folks on Portland's mean streets? Take heart! Oxbow Regional Park's campground is open year 'round, it's not far from Portland, and Stag Beetle Power! says it's a wonderful place to bring the kids!

Go to story: Oxbow Regional Park

Sunday | September 5, 2010

Sun Devils Scuttle Portland's Vikings
If you can't stand the heat, get out of the Devils' kitchen.

Go to story: Arizona State Handles Vikings, 54-9

Saturday | September 4, 2010

From depraved to depaved: volunteers remove asphalt from church parking lot to create community garden.

Tearin' Up The Parking Lot
City Commissioner Nick Fish helps "Depave" a SW Portland church's parking lot, transforming it from asphalt-covered dead zone to community garden.

Go to story: Depave photos

Friday | September 3, 2010

Locker Room Pragmatism
City assures public it's providing Portland's homeless folks with access to storage lockers for "practical--not just humanitarian--reasons." Will "creeping compassionism" ultimately undermine self-righteous ruthlessness and free-market fanaticism? Experts fret over the "inevitable unwinding" of multiple decades of carefully contrived pro-corporate cultural conditioning.

Go to story: Homeless get storage lockers in Portland

Thursday | September 2, 2010

Multnomah County "Taps Out" Disposable Plastic Water Bottles
Commissioner asks employees to "pledge" oaths of loyalty.

Go to story: Multnomah County "Takes Back the Tap!"

Wednesday | September 1, 2010

Portland Dealt A Bad Hand
Aces come down hard on the Beavers.

Go to story: Reno Aces defeat Portland Beavers

Tuesday | August 31, 2010

Food Cart Fight
Will Bing's Food Cart Finder best Google Maps' Food Carts Portland!?! The battle rages as iPhone and Android apps skulk nearby.

Go to story: Battle of the Portland Food Cart Apps

Monday | August 30, 2010

Former Transportation Office Spokeswoman Awarded DUII
Mary Volm falls off motor scooter while allegedly intoxicated. Mid-life transportation crisis for would-be Portland City Councilperson?

Go to story: Former Portland candidate faces Ore. DUII charge

Sunday | August 29, 2010

The "go by streetcar" sign at NW Lovejoy and 10th in Portland.

A Streetcar Fuels Desire
Other towns covet Portland's street car success.

Go to story: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-08-30-streetcars30_ST_N.htm

Saturday | August 28, 2010

Electric Car Cattle Prod
Oregon's governor pushes an electric car "future" while TriMet eviscerates public transit. Will strip mined coal compete with oil wars as the roadway slaughter continues?

Go to story: Road to electric cars not so easy

Friday | August 27, 2010

Ninety-Seven Year-Old "Green Jobs" Initiative
These employed folks (and their horses too!) from nearly a century ago already had "green jobs." Then cars came along and ruined everything.

Go to story: N Jonesmore Street, 1913

Thursday | August 26, 2010

Burnt Coal Fires Up Young Artists
Kids tell Oregon’s Boardman Coal Plant to walk the plank.

Go to story: In Portland, Students and the Community “Paint Past Coal”

Wednesday | August 25, 2010

Doggy Style: Amtrak's choice of "fly ride" for their doggy detectives shows the rail transport operator has the inner strength to purposefully derail its own train-centric bias.

Canine Cops To Sniff Rails From Portland To Seattle
Amtrak's Vernae Graham claims doggy detectives to thrust noses into "all sorts of illegal substances."

Go to story: Amtrak Goes to the Dogs

Tuesday | August 24, 2010

Portland Casinos Await Voter Approval
Measure 75's passage will bring gambling halls to Multnomah County dog tracks. Coming next: dens of iniquity and houses of ill repute.

Go to story: Ore. casino backers drop lawsuit, voters to decide

Monday | August 23, 2010

Pakistan Flood Relief: Be The Change
As Pakistan's "epic floods" continue, Portland's Mercy Corps dives in.

Go to story: Project: Pakistan Flooding - Mercy Corps is providing clean water, staple foods and clean-up tools to families affected by massive flooding in Pakistan, which has killed at least 1,600 people and affected 20 million people.

Sunday | August 22, 2010

Portland's fake Jimi Hendrix poses with Vancouver B.C.'s actual blonde.

Vancouver B.C. Blonde Does Her Part To Help "Keep Portland Weird"
Beer, Jimmy Hendrix and a "sunny and stinking hot" Saturday Market are all part of her plan.

Go to story: Perfectly Portland

Saturday | August 21, 2010

Portland's Mayor Takes Aim At Loose Cannons
Mayor Sam Adams asks openly female city attorney to come up with new strategies for reducing gun violence in city. Local firearm fanatic Kevin Starrett derides proposal as "a desperate move by a disgraced mayor."

Go to story: Portland Mayor Proposes Gun Restrictions After Rash Of Shootings

Friday | August 20, 2010

Get Folked Up This Weekend!
Over twenty venues co-host Portland's first annual Folk Festival.

Go to story: Portland Folk Festival: For the family

Thursday | August 19, 2010

A TV News Channel To Oblivion
Local corporate media propaganda claims bicycling bad for business. Portland's business community claims otherwise.

Go to story: Bikes bad for business? Not in Portland

Wednesday | August 18, 2010

"Mob Mentality" Breeds "Irrational Hatred" In Portland, Oregon
Facebook comments threatening "fat, sick, twisted bitches" with "a tall tree and a short rope" invoke memories of "Salem Witch Trials," when "innocent women were condemned" for supposedly making a "covenant with the devil." Exposes Portland's "ugly side."

Go to story: Why a Mob Mentality, an Irrational Hatred for DeDe Spicher and Terri Horman?

Tuesday | August 17, 2010

Portland-Area Home Sales Plummet 30%
"...it feels like the bottom just fell out..."

Go to story: Portland-area closed sales of homes fall 30% in July

Monday | August 16, 2010

Let's Widen The Expressway To Hell!
Responses to call for a rational, long-term transportation plan:

Step hard on the gas pedal.
Rack up more frequent flyer miles.
Drill baby drill!

Go to story: Get a transportation plan, Oregon

Sunday | August 15, 2010

Portland's "Charms" Backfire
City ends up looking "a lot like Fayetteville."

Go to story: Portland, Oregon Charms CITY A LOT LIKE FAYETTEVILLE

Saturday | August 14, 2010

Lackluster Local Lucre Licks Lone Lesbian Lounge
The Egyptian Club, Portland's only lesbian bar, to close doors for good October 9th.

Go to story: Portland Oregon's Lone Lesbian Bar Closing for Good

Friday | August 13, 2010

As Friday The 13th Dawns, Gloom Lurks In Shadows
Portland forecast: sunny and hot. "Much warmer than yesterday."

Go to story: 5-Day Forecast for ZIP Code 97209

Thursday | August 12, 2010

Electric Vehicle Charging Stations Popping Up In Portland
Pentagon covetously sets sights on faraway lands selfishly hoarding large lithium-ion reserves. Possible invasion targets seen.

Go to story: Game Changer: First public quick-charge station for EVs installed in Portland

Wednesday | August 11, 2010

Heartless County Bureaucrats Threaten Entrepreneurial Tot With Hefty Fine
Public outcry assures that seven year-old lemonade impresario gets to take her mom to Disneyland anyway.

Go to story: Seven year old entrepreneur raises cash for Disneyland

Tuesday | August 10, 2010

A Bridge Too Wide
Ten lane span threatens to drive even more highly-dangerous motor vehicles into city. No end in sight to roadway slaughter, fossil fuel depletion, resource war proliferation.

Go to story: Oregon, Washington Leaders Agree On Key I-5 Bridge Details

Tuesday | May 25, 2010

Portland's architectural landmark, United States Custom House, officially goes on the auction block today. Previous efforts to turn the building into a 82-room boutique hotel or house Portland's International School fell through. Ideas for turning the building into a home for a Public Market, Sustainability Center or a Rose City Campus for the University of Oregon went nowhere. A couple of months ago, the Oregonian's Anna Griffin thoughtfully observed that someone with "with a vision" should turn their vision for what should happen with this Portland treasure into reality. Here's a chance to step up and take that challenge. What is your vision for the U.S. Custom House? Don't be shy; describe your vision here.

Tuesday | March 23, 2010

Portland's message to upscale consumerism: "Take a hike!" Portland, Oregon Saks Fifth Avenue to Close. MarketWatch

Thursday | October 1, 2009

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Go to stories:

References

[1] Yellow Pages, who uses them? A serious case of pulp friction The phone books still pile up, but have they outlived their usefulness?

[2] Let Your Fingers Do the Clicking

[3] Neofeudalism

[4] Cyclists vs ‘Libertarians’ in Portland

[5] International Trade Study

[6] How Frankenfood Prevailed

[7] Winds Of Jihad

[8] Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer Stand With The English Defense League

[9] Pamela Geller: Ground Zero Harpy

[10] Drones: America's New Air Force

[11] Oregon ranks 5th nationally for painkiller abuse

[12] Real IRA says it will target UK bankers

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[5]

[6]

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[12]

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-=== Friday | November 19, 2010 ===
+q6pWh3  <a href="http://urhdrmhycqrt.com/">urhdrmhycqrt</a>, [url=http://czvvybjaotof.com/]czvvybjaotof[/url], [link=http://yoekdqkkdkel.com/]yoekdqkkdkel[/link], http://pagnnmbahlhu.com/
-[[File:Walmart-worldmap.jpg|thumb|World Map of Wal-Mart: Watch out for collapsing civilizations.]]
-'''Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. (NYSE: WMT) To Open New Store In Portland'''<br />
-The mega-retailer promises employment for 300 Portland-area serfs and countless sweatshop slaves across the globe. Watch out for falling wages.<br />
-:''Go to story'': [http://www.nwcn.com/news/Walmart-to-open-new-store-in-Portland-creating-300-jobs-79990382.html Walmart to open new store in Portland, creating 300 jobs]
-{{clear}}
 === Thursday | November 18, 2010 ===