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News
Sunday | October 24, 2010
Oregon Woman Seeks Out "Lives To Change"
Presses evil roots into hapless hands of unsuspecting, disconcerted "changelings."
Go to story: Woman seeks to change lives with $100 a day
Saturday | October 23, 2010
Playin' Chicken
Portland "authorities" will let you keep three hens. Where are you gonna put that fowl li'l harem? A stylin' chicken coop, of course!
Go to story: Coop Dreams
Friday | October 22, 2010
Yo Homie! It's EZ Being Green!
Sure, the Environmental Protection Agency paddled Portland General Electric on the bum bum earlier this month to punish the utility for the coal-fired air pollution its Boardman plant inflicts on breathing life forms. Despite these sins, the City of Portland managed to crawl onto "EPA's elite list of Green Power Communities for the city's extensive efforts to reduce its carbon footprint."
Go to stories:
Portland dubbed one of the country’s greenest communities with EPA designation
EPA: Boardman coal plant has been violating pollution rules since 1998
Thursday | October 21, 2010
Takin' Care Of Business And Workin' Overtime
"Leadership Council" frets that "Portland's hyper-pluralistic decision-making process" may disrupt public development schemes, concocted behind "closed doors," to lure "private investment." Proposes "Community Investment Initiative" to "overcome a uniquely Portland roadblock."
Go to story: Reserves used as template for investment Leadership Council idea
Wednesday | October 20, 2010
Barack Does Bridge City
As the President rolls through Portland today, the burning question on the tip of every Portlandian's wagging tongue is: "Does Obama support U.S. Predator Drone Bombing Policy (USPDBP) in his Heart of Hearts (HoH)? Or is this kind of depraved folly the product of a Spiritually Dead National Security Policy (SDNSP) imposed by Nefarious Deep State Forces (NDSF) that infest the Wretched Bowels of the National Security State (WBNSS)?" Enquiring minds want to know!
Go to story: Pakistan, Afghanistan on Obama's agenda
Tuesday | October 19, 2010
Timbers Ready To Chop Down Some Trees!
But wait! Wasn't that the Beavers' job!?!
Go to story: Major League Soccer Expansion: Portland Timbers Sign Four Players
Monday | October 18, 2010
Are You Stumbling Over Your Own Clown-Sized Feet?
Take heart! Chinese footware giant Li-Ning has established a "foothold" in Portland. Centuries of tradition practically guarantees wearers a "smaller footprint."
Go to story: Move over Carbon Footprint. The Chinese have landed in Portland to introduce a smaller footprint for runners.