Template:News
News
Wednesday | October 20, 2010
Barack Does Bridge City
As the President rolls through Portland today, the burning question on the tip of every Portlandian's wagging tongue is: "Does Obama support U.S. Predator Drone Bombing (PDB) policy in his 'Heart of Hearts' (HoH)? Or is such folly the product of Spiritually Dead National Security Policy (SDNSP) imposed by Nefarious Deep State Forces (NDSF) that possess the Wretched Bowels of the National Security State (WBNSS)?" Enquiring minds want to know!
Go to story: Pakistan, Afghanistan on Obama's agenda
Tuesday | October 19, 2010
Timbers Ready To Chop Down Some Trees!
But wait! Wasn't that the Beavers' job!?!
Go to story: Major League Soccer Expansion: Portland Timbers Sign Four Players
Monday | October 18, 2010
Are You Stumbling Over Your Own Clown-Sized Feet?
Take heart! Chinese footware giant Li-Ning has established a "foothold" in Portland. Centuries of tradition practically guarantees wearers a "smaller footprint."
Go to story: Move over Carbon Footprint. The Chinese have landed in Portland to introduce a smaller footprint for runners.
Sunday | October 17, 2010
Portland Beavers Will Migrate To More "Southerly Regions"
A Portland institution since 1903, the triple-A team is pawned off to a San Diego-based baseball executive.
Go to story: Portland Beavers Sold To San Diego Padres' Owner
Saturday | October 16, 2010
North Portland's Roughriders Persecute Christian Royalty
"It didn't take long for the bigger and stronger Roosevelt Roughriders to jump in front of the Portland Christian Royals in a non league football game Friday night..."
Go to story: Roosevelt Roughriders run over Portland Christian in Oregon football
Friday | October 15, 2010
Setback For Green Economy: Shrub Man Gets Clipped
Maybe he should've disguised himself as a museum piece to pull off a heist at the yard & garden center.
Go to story: Man dressed as underbrush tries to rob museum
Thursday | October 14, 2010
The Glen Jackson Bridge's Standpipe System Serves An Honorable & Noble Purpose
Did you know that standpipes "basically serve the same purpose as fire hydrants and are used by fire personnel to supply water to remote locations." Neither did PortlandWiki's NewsEditorBOT (NEbot) until it stumbled upon the Fire Blog.
Go to story: Station 12 Tests Glen Jackson Bridge's Standpipe System