Old news/November 2010

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Tuesday | November 30, 2010

Breathe deeply and tune in to your "inner criminal."

Rainbow Coalition Of Crime
"This is the first time Adams has ever been so curt toward Oregon's would-be white bigots, saying, basically, 'Chill out white people, because if we're pointing fingers, we're not so great.' Adams is white himself, so presumably he'll be less vulnerable to the manufactured outrage to be leveled at him.... In the meantime, try and think of a time any other white politician was so bracingly direct when speaking to his mostly white constituency about anti-Muslim hysteria."

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Monday | November 29, 2010

File:Atlas-shrugs-girl-with-globe.jpg
Bereft of soul, the Atlas Shrugs Girl bares her body instead.

The Truth Revealed! Now We Know Why "They Hate Us"!
A tireless PortlandWikiLeaks investigation has uncovered the honest to Allah truthful answer to "why they hate us." Winds Of Jihad[1] comment contributor, aussiegirl, informs us that "Once again Islam has to make out ITS the victim!!! when in reality they are all taught to hate us at their mosques." But wait, there's more! "Hate monger and anti-mosque queen bee"[2] Pamela Geller is kind enough, despite standing accused as a "geriatric Paris Hilton knock-off with...too-oft-seen cleavage,"[3] to bare her soul, uh, breasts in order to tip off unsuspecting Portlandians with the latest diabolical intrigues perpetrated by Portland's "communist elected officials."

Go to story: Portland Mayor Tom Potter and City Council Assisted Muslim Teen Terrorist in Plot to Blow up 25,000 Americans

Sunday | November 28, 2010

Why do they hate us?

Haters: What Makes Them Hate?
Once again, the troubling question arises: How can someone witness the brutality, violence, torture, hatred, greed, envy, lust, tyranny, depravity, wars, invasions, ethnic cleansings, squalor, misery and decay that humans perpetrate upon one another and then decide to "hate"?

Go to stories:

Saturday | November 27, 2010

Toy-filled sleighs are more traditional Christmas vehicles than vans packed with dudly explosives.

Pissed-Off Teenage Boy's Life Takes Tragic Turn
Mohamed Osman Mohamud could have had a bright future as a U.S. Air Force predator drone pilot[4] slaughtering third world villagers half a world away. Tragically, a motley crew of Pakistani jihadists and undercover F.B.I. operatives convinced Mohamud to reach for "jihadi glory" instead. On Friday night, the F.B.I. arrested Mohamud for attempting to set off a dud bomb, provided by F.B.I. undercover operatives, at Portland's Pioneer Courthouse Square minutes before the city's annual tree-lighting ceremony.

Go to stories:

Friday | November 26, 2010

TriMet Board To Vote On Proposal For Portland-To-Milwaukie MAX Line
TriMet's board will vote on six resolutions at its Dec. 8 meeting. Project is expected to cost roughly $365 million, and would include a new bridge over the Willamette River with additional access for pedestrians and bicycle riders.

Go to story: TriMet poised to start new MAX project

Thanksgiving Day | Thursday | November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Giving Thanks, And A Little More...
Portland Mayor Sam Adams is "thankful for the people who make this City what it is – a welcoming, exciting, compassionate and innovative place where anyone from anywhere in the world can find their community." The mayor also expresses gratitude "for the countless ways in which Portlanders look out for one another," and asks Portlandians to consider giving back:

Go to story: Giving Thanks

Wednesday | November 24, 2010

Pain relief. Encapsulated.

Who'll Stop The Pain?
You will! In Oregon, self-medicating is as American as DIY. Oregon ranks fifth nationally for prescription painkiller abuse and has the highest rate in the country among 18- to 25-year-olds.[5] Dramatic spikes in diagnoses of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and other mental disorders has fueled an unprecedented reliance on pharmaceutical medications. Canadian physician Dr. Gabor Maté argues that these responses are treating surface symptoms as causes while ignoring deeper roots. Dr. Maté says children are in fact reacting to the broader collapse of the nurturing conditions needed for their healthy development.
Go to stories:

Tuesday | November 23, 2010

Shadow inventory of distressed "American dreams."

"Shadow Inventory" Of "Distressed Homes" To Hit "Real Estate Market"
A wave of distressed residential properties may flood an already saturated residential real estate market in the coming months, according to CoreLogic, "a leading provider of consumer, financial and property information, analytics and services to business and government." There was an 11 month supply of "distressed homes" in the Portland-Vancouver-Hillsboro metro area in August. (CoreLogic defines "distressed homes" as residential property with mortgage payments more than 90 days delinquent or in foreclosure.) The "globalized free market" system's built-in stabilizers automatically correct marketplace deviations like "shadow inventories" of "distressed homes"--brought about by the continuing criminal enterprises carried out on Wall Street, in corporate boardrooms of major multinational corporations, and in the halls of Congress[6]--by bailing out distressed banks, paying outlandish bonuses to "investment bankers," and making homeless serfs out of everyone else.

Go to story: Distressed homes to hit real estate market
Go to report: Shadow Inventory Jumps More Than 10 Percent in One Year, Pushing Total Unsold Inventory to 6.3 Million Units

Monday | November 22, 2010

Be the change Powell's wants you to be.

Happy Women Love To Read
Mercy Corps' "M POWER Project" department suggests you join Mercy Corps and Powell's Books to help teach women to read, and how NOT to shop at Amazon dot com. You can "be the change" you always wanted to be and help teach hundreds of Indian women to read and write, boosting their self-esteem and empowering them to open bank accounts, start small businesses, participate fully in their households and communities, and NOT shop online. Powell's will throw in a free Powell's Books tote bag if you jump through all the necessary hoops and meet all their other requirements.

Go to story: M Power Project: Empower Women In India Through Literacy

Sunday | November 21, 2010

Fu*k Wall Street

"Eager Beaver" Police State Does Its Part To Stick It To The Man
A Portland hedge fund analyst exposed his virile manliness by standing up to "two fresh faced eager beavers from the FBI" and refusing to "wear a wire and therefore ensnare (his clients) in (the 'eager beavers') devious web." (It's also manly to mix metaphors like "beavers" with "devious web" or "spiders" with "devious dam.") Afterward the hedge fund inside trading analyst cursed the Portland Timbers for failing to drive the FBI's "eager beavers" out of Portland as successfully as they banished the Portland Beavers from Stumptown.

Go to story: U.S. in Vast Insider Trading Probe

Saturday | November 20, 2010

Public Displays Of Wanton Gluttony

Concern Mounts Over Portland's Public Displays Of Wanton Gluttony
Labeled "America's New Food Eden," meat-centric restaurants like the Beast, Country Cat, People's Pig and other "lardcore" eateries serve non-kosher food that is "so good it will literally make you sick." In the midst of all this pork barrel fetishizing, has anyone stopped to think about the poor, starving waifs in Africa? Enquiring stomachs want to know.

Go to story: Why Portland Is America's New Food Eden

Friday | November 19, 2010

World Map of Wal-Mart: Watch out for collapsing civilizations.

Wal-Mart Stores, Inc. (NYSE: WMT) To Open New Store In Portland
The mega-retailer promises employment for 300 Portland-area serfs and countless sweatshop slaves across the globe. Watch out for falling wages.

Go to story: Walmart to open new store in Portland, creating 300 jobs

Thursday | November 18, 2010

Photo: TrainWeb

The Best Little Streetcar In Texas
Fort Worth puts runaway Portland streetcar on display.

Go to story: Model streetcar goes on display in downtown Fort Worth

Wednesday | November 17, 2010

R.I.P. City

R.I.P. City
Q. Why is Portland, Oregon nicknamed Rip City?
A. Trail Blazers guard, Jim Barnett, ripped the net in 1970 causing the sports announcer to hyperventilate and coin the phrase "Rip City."
Go to story: Why is Portland Oregon nicknamed rip city?

Tuesday | November 16, 2010

Proud body by PETA.

Pouting PETAphiles Ponder "Proudbody Patdowns" @ PDX
The success of PETA's "proud body" campaign depends on ubiquitous distribution of TSA's full-body scanners at all major airports. Unfortunately, the scanners slated for Portland International Airport (PDX) have failed to materialize and "Portland is not on TSA's deployment list" for the remainder of the year. Can PETA's "proud body" campaign successfully exploit any furtive gropings and fondlings TSA's "handlers" inflict upon Portland's air travel victims?

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Monday | November 15, 2010

Full Disclosure: Not every bully who treads on the already downtrodden is a dancing Nazi.

America's "Moral Majority" Blame Poor Folks For Economic Blight Imposed By Wall Street
"Political conservatives (continue) to blame poor African-Americans and Hispanics for the very act of being poor even as 43.6 million Americans of all racial stripes, 12.3 percent of them white, are living in poverty and collectively struggling to survive the fallout of an economic downturn (characterized by) widespread layoffs, massive home foreclosures and loss of retirement savings and other assets."

Go to story: Conservatives Blame the Poor for being Poor

Sunday | November 14, 2010

Unwelcoming committee.

"Queen Of Terror" Denied Entry
Rose City "radicals" question their own "victory" after realizing they just bolstered Portland's reputation as bastion of monochromatic pseudo-liberalism by compelling a conservative black woman to take refuge in "(Dick) Cheney's bunker."

Go to story: VICTORY?

Saturday | November 13, 2010

Coal-fired power plant. Image: Scott Butner

Coal Controversy Heats Up
PGE's coal-fired power plant in Boardman, Oregon "puts toxins into the air and water (that are) responsible for four of the five leading causes of death in the United States. These are serious toxins. If we wait another 10 years (to close the plant) the impacts could be disruptive and permanent."

Go to story: Debate flares over coal-fired power: Environmentalists at odds over when is best time to close pollution-causing plant in Boardman, Ore.
Go to info resource center: End Mountaintop Removal Action and Resource Center

Friday | November 12, 2010

Clearcut Cell Towers; Leave The Trees
Perhaps you're one of the dozens--if not hundreds--of folks across Consumertopia who has permanently switched off your cell phone because you can no longer feel good about our culture's "insatiable demand for electronics products such as cell phones and laptops" that "fuel waves of sexual violence" in places "that most of us will never go." No more trade in conflict minerals for you! And you're no longer overheating your brains with cell phone radiation and looking foolish by pressing an electronic gadget up against your head while chattering aimlessly as you hurtle down the highway or stumble along the sidewalk. But wait; there's something more: cell phone towers. They gotta go. Good news! You're invited to attend a workshop that'll show you how to get rid of 'em.

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Thursday | November 11, 2010

Supporting our troops.

Today Is Veterans Day; Do You Know Where Your Veteran Is?
"More than 10 percent of Oregon's homeless are veterans. There are 19 separate squatter villages populated primarily with homeless veterans in Central Oregon alone, and that's only the ones the Central Oregon Veterans Outreach group knows about. Many of them are addicted to drugs, or suffering from PTSD."

Go to story: Veteran assistance programs aid more homeless veterans in the winter

Wednesday | November 10, 2010

Neighborhood Greenways: From Asphalt To Bike Path, One Street At A Time


Portland's Bureau of Transportation (PBOT) claims that neighborhood greenways are "much more than just chevrons painted on the asphalt." PortlandWiki News has in fact discovered they're traffic calming devices like speed bumps, extended curbs, stormwater management planters and all the other features that bike bloggers and city planners prattle on and on about.
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Tuesday | November 9, 2010

Ecotopia in your dreams.

Watersheds & Woodpeckers
Did you know that "we live in a watershed within a watershed within a watershed"? Were you also aware that a "watershed is an area of land that drains to a body of water"? Perhaps you suspect that we also live in a woodshed within a woodshed that drains into the clearcutting maws of the "forest products" industry within an industry. And that our woodshed's woodpeckers frolic with our watershed's waterpeckers. In short, we live in Ecotopia.
Go to story: The Water Cycle in Portland: Living in a Watershed

Monday | November 8, 2010

An Oregon spotted frog raised by offenders at the Cedar Creek Corrections Center. Photo: Melanie Colombo.

Two Convicts & A Frog
"Much to the surprise of research scientists and zookeepers" participating "in a 'head start' program to bolster" the Oregon spotted frog's "dwindling population," James Goodall, a convicted drug dealer and fellow inmate, convicted robber Harry Greer apparently make great endangered frog nannies. In a fenced off-area behind Cedar Creek Correctional Center called "Frogga Walla," the two men spend nine hours a day feeding and tending to the endangered little critters. "We baby them like little kids," said Goodall, adding "They've got personalities, too, it seems like." "People may not think prisons are the right place for this type of environmental work, but it's the ideal place," said Chad Lewis, spokesman for the state Department of Corrections. "We have folks with plenty of time in a controlled environment. That's what you need."

Go to stories:

Sunday | November 7, 2010

Lite, lite blue.

Bend-Area Pinkos Turn Red County Blue
Deschutes County finally agreed to take the fall for Kitzhaber's election. "Although Dudley easily carried Deschutes County, Kitzhaber picked up more than 24,000 votes here – more than enough to put him over the top."

Go to story: FLASH: Deschutes County Gives Election to Kitzhaber!

Saturday | November 6, 2010

Suboptimal transportation modes.

Riding The Rails
The Portland Streetcar Loop Project brought new rail tracks and changed traffic patterns that "will alter the cycling conditions in the vicinity of the west end of the Broadway Bridge and require that all travelers in the area be aware of new signs, lane markings, street and signal configurations and streetcar tracks."

Go to story: New streetcar tracks, one-way streets will affect cyclists in the Pearl District

Friday | November 5, 2010

Kids love to play.

Former Pedophobiac Discovers He Likes "The Little Buggers"
After citing his "recent study" showing that "50% of parents have lost all touch with reality," blogger claims that "children don't bother me anymore. I used to blame most of the ills of the world on children, even when I myself was a child, but as of late I'm finding more and more that I actually like the little buggers. I like kids."

Go to story: According to my recent study, 50% of parents have lost all touch with reality

Thursday | November 4, 2010

Empire's decline.

"Ungovernable" State Government Gets Governor
Political scientists claim "cosmic joke" will lead to "bloodbath of hostility, recrimination, backbiting, claims and counterclaims, the worst of what ordinary citizens think of politicians."

Go to story: Portland-area ballots boost Kitzhaber past Dudley in Oregon

Wednesday | November 3, 2010

Election Night Oregon

Teabag Takeover Stops Short
Although the "grassroots" national-corporatist forces handily blitzkrieged the U.S. House, the thunderous goose-steps appear to have halted short of a full Senate takeover. Some economists worry that absence of a full totalitarian mandate may slow predator drone production and delay construction of new forced labor camps, retarding growth in the emerging soylent green economy.

Go to story: TEA PARTY: From Fringe Element To Power Player

Tuesday | November 2, 2010

Find this box and stuff it.

Today Is "Stuff Your Ballot In A Box" Day!
In a free and open society like ours, we have the rare privilege of voting for the elite factions who have done the cleverest job at deluding us with outrageous campaign spending, financed by filthy outside lucre blessed by the Supreme Court of the United States. If you haven't done so already, go find a ballot box near you and stuff it.

Go to Official Ballot Drop Sites page: Official Ballot Drop Sites
Call the Election Protection hotline: 1 (866) OUR-VOTE
Go to stories:

Monday | November 1, 2010

Hello. We're public servants and we're here to help you.

Portland Cops: Ours Vs. Theirs
Maybe if cops from Portland, Maine's police department had gotten hold of James Chasse they wouldn't have beaten him to a bloody pulp and left him to die. On the other hand, if not for our cops, who could we depend on to shoot little 12 year-old girls waiting for the next MAX train?

Go to stories:

References

  1. Winds Of Jihad
  2. Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer Stand With The English Defense League
  3. Pamela Geller: Ground Zero Harpy
  4. Drones: America's New Air Force
  5. Oregon ranks 5th nationally for painkiller abuse
  6. Real IRA says it will target UK bankers